


Sleep Patterns

by karkatslament



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-18
Updated: 2015-01-10
Packaged: 2018-03-02 03:00:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2797157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karkatslament/pseuds/karkatslament
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean has been having weird dreams and his home life isn't so great. After giving up on the strained relationship with his younger brother and finally being able to leave his mother's side, he goes to college. When he arrived he meets a group of friends who will change his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Accidental Encounter

**Author's Note:**

> Proof read by tumblr users rose-strilonde and ghoststorms

**September 9th, 2001**

 

I was rollerblading with my younger brother, Gary, when I was thirteen. We watched as an ambulance pulled up to the hospital we were in the parking lot of. The woman wasn't moving but her eyes were open, she was obviously dead. She must of died on the way. We watched a family pull up next to the ambulance, crying hysterically. A woman screamed begging for the woman to wake up, but of course her screams were pointless.

 

I told Gary that she went to heaven. It would have been easier for my eight year old brother to understand.

 

I didn't believe what I was saying.

 

Two days later, a plane hit the world trade center killing over three thousand people.

 

I told Gary that there is no God and it is all meaningless.

 

A year later our parents are divorced and I don't see Gary for five years.

 

* * *

 

**September 2006**

 

I sigh and take a puff of my cigarette as my brother sits next to me on the hood of my car, overlooking the valley that I lived in with our mother. We grew up here before our parents had gotten a divorce. Gary is fourteen now. He looks over at me disapprovingly as I toss my cigs into my pocket with my lighter. Bad day by Daniel Powter plays on the radio and we don't talk. I think after five years, there's a language barrier between siblings. Especially ones with a five year age gap.

 

He's a little over half a foot shorter than me and muscular. He also has our mother's dirty blond hair, but he's tanner than our mother and I. You wouldn't think he was my younger brother, maybe my cousin, but not my brother.

 

"I'm going to college tomorrow." I offer, hoping to strike up conversation.

"And?" He raises an eyebrow.

 

That wouldn't matter to him. He's going through his fourteen year old angst phase and 'hates the world'. He just started high school. Last time I saw him, he was in elementary school. I don’t think my brain is able to comprehend that this is my little brother.

We start talking about sports, and girls, and school.

I don't tell him that I'm gay.

I don't tell him that I'm going to be an art major.

I don't tell him about the few friends I had in high school.

 

And I don't tell anyone about my nightmares.

 

"What do you want out of life, Jean?" My younger brother looks up at me expectantly, his golden eyes staring.

I tell him I don't know.

I don't tell him I'm scared.

 

* * *

 

That night I had the same nightmare.

 

I'm sitting in a van with five strangers, singing along to a song I don't recognize. Smoking a cigarette and everything is a blur, but I feel warm. The van swerves and the panic sets in. We’re sliding and I see white, we hit a tree. I'm then thrown through the windshield and fly a few hundred feet. I break my jaw on a fence, before hitting a wall where I bleed to death in excruciating pain from a fractured skull and broken neck. Darkness swarms around me and I hear screaming, I feel warm but cold at the same time….

 

I woke up at 3 am in a cold sweat.

This would be the last time I'd be sleeping in my own bed. Who knew that would be a terrifying thought? Jean Kirschtien, the oldest son of the Kirschtiens, was scared of going to college.

 

As I couldn't go back to sleep, the fear of dying over and over again in my dreams haunted me. Not even my therapist knows about these dreams. I'm scared to tell her. I pull my boxers up as they had started slipping off my thin hips and crawled out of my warm blankets. Shuddering, I pad over to the bathroom and shower.

 

When I no longer feel disgusting or sweaty, I climb out of the shower and blow dry my hair. Today is my first day of college. The blond top of my hair sits the way I like it and I wrap a towel around my waist.

I get dressed and pull a hoodie over my head, wiggling my legs a bit as I had just put on a new pair of skinny jeans. It's not even 4 am yet.

 

I spend the next hour and a half on my DS lite.

Yes, I spent an hour and a half playing Legend of Zelda in the dark.

I would have played Animal Crossing: Wild World but I didn't want to get off my bed again to go get it.

When I realize that it's 5:30, I contemplate whether to make myself a real breakfast or go to the corner store and grab a monster energy drink before cramming my car with stuff to take to my dorm.

 

I go with the energy drink.

I can pick up food on my way to the campus if I need to.

 

By six o'clock, my mother is awake and I have my car packed. I need to leave in an hour if I want to get there early.

 

Walking back in the house, my mother is sitting in the living room. She is a tall, thin woman with long fingers and sharp features, and long dirty blonde hair that my brother and I both inherited. I also inherited her sharp features.

From what I can tell, she's crying. Walking over, I sit myself on the couch and pull her next to me, holding her close. My mother worries to much about me. She always had, especially after the divorce. We depended on each other to not get so deep into our own holes of depression that we stopped eating. We relied on each other to get out of bed for the last five and I don't know if I'm going to be able to survive without her, but I'm more worried about her.

I smooth her hair and wait for her to calm down before hugging her tightly. We're both skeletal people, thin and bony, another thing I inherited.

 

I tell her that I need to leave soon and she kisses my cheek and hugs me again. I'm going to miss her.

 

"Je t'aime, Mamon."

"Je t'aime aussi, Jeanbo."

 

* * *

 

 

Letting go is hard. It's harder than all those nights I stayed awake blaming myself for my parents getting divorced and all those nights I spent scared to tell my father who I was really. I clutch the steering wheel for four hours and my knuckles are as white as they could possibly be. My knuckles being whiter than usual is an accomplishment as I could probably disappear if I lay down in snow. When I park my car in the lot, I look at all the people arriving. It's slightly overwhelming. By ‘slightly‘, I mean that I feel like I'm going to crumble.

 

I luckily enough locate my dorm and knock on the door nervously, what would my roommate be like?

A short guy about my age with opens the door and looks at me skeptically. When he sees my suitcase, he opens the door and lets me in. He has a shaved head and is at least a foot shorter than me.

 

"I'm Connie, and you are?"

"Jean, Jean Kirschtien." I notice a girl is sitting on what I presume is his bed. She has her hair tied up in a ponytail and she looks a bit shorter than me, round face, long dark brown hair, and brown eyes. Cute.

 

She waves and introduces herself as Sasha, Connie's girlfriend.

 

It turns out the three of us have a lot in common. We all came from the same city, but I went to a different high school than they did. We all owned a DS lite but played Gameboy games for it most of the time, and we were all too invested in Pokémon.

 

Over the next three weeks, the three of us are inseparable as I don't have any other friends and I'm not exactly a social person. Though I do meet a few of their friends, who are pretty cool. I start studying at the coffee shop Connie works at with Sasha so I don't have to be in Connie and I's dorm room by myself. Being alone makes me anxious for some reason. Also, Sasha makes a pretty great study partner. She's smarter than she's given credit for.

 

I chew on the end of my pencil and look up at Sasha from across the table. She has her face shoved in a recipe book, she's majoring in culinary arts. Her brown eyes flick up at me and she raises an eyebrow. I smile at her, before going back to sketching.

Most people would assume I liked her, but I am a) gay and b) was drawing her for class.

 

Her boyfriend strolls over, placing a muffin beside each of us and placing a kiss to Sasha's head. I crave that kind of attention from someone. Not Connie, ew no, gross. I've only dated one person in my life, when I was fifteen and it was a girl. I never really wanted attention until I met Connie and Sasha, maybe I realized what I could have had with my ex.

 

I wonder what would have changed in my life if I wasn't gay. Not that I mind, I mean girls are pretty and all but tall guys who are like giant teddy bears are more my forte.

 

As I slowly drift off into day dreaming about mister tall dark and handsome, Connie pokes my shoulder to snap me back into reality. How long had I been gone? Probably a few minutes. He looks like he was asking me something and expecting an answer.

 

"What did you say?"

"Now that the space cadet is back on earth, do you want to go to movie night at Reiner's dorm? We'll be spending the night so pack jammies." Connie shakes his head as he repeats what he had been saying.

I nod in acknowledgement and start packing up my sketchbook and pencils, it's getting pretty late and I am exhausted.

 

Sasha hugs me goodbye and Connie waves as he'll be seeing me in a bit to grab his overnight bag. While I walk from the on campus coffee shop, I'm trapped in my head again. My bag is slung over my shoulder and a muffin in one of my hands, my phone in my other as I check my texts. I was pretty lucky my mother could get me the Samsung BlackJack before I left for college.

 

As I was reading texts from my mother and biting into my muffin, I bumped into who I can only describe as mister tall dark and handsome.

When we collide, I see stars, or were those his freckles?

When mister guy of my dreams helps me up, he looks at the ground nervously apologizing for not paying attention.

He has warm brown eyes, dark brown hair, and beautiful dark skin. Oh god, he’s at least two inches taller than me and his shoulders are broad.

I’m either in love or horny. Maybe both.

“It’s fine, I’m not hurt.” I laugh and rub the back of my neck nervously.

 

He looks relieved and he runs a hand through his hair. I think my heart is _melting_.

 

I shift back and forth on my feet before waving and walking past him, realizing a few minutes later I dropped my phone and my muffin. Fuck. That was a really good fucking muffin.

 

When I finally arrive at my dorm, I toss my bag onto my bed and grab my necessities. Clothes for tomorrow? Check. Deodorant? Check. Hair brush? Check. Sweat pants? Check. I toss my DS, the chargers for the DS and my phone, and some games into my bag too. Who knows? I might find my phone before someone sells it for drug money. Can they do that with cell phones? Maybe.

 

Connie strolls in and starts packing his bag when I finish lacing up my docs and zip up my hoodie, pulling a beanie over my rat nest of a faux hawk just to make sure I don’t look like a walking dumpster. If I do look like a walking dumpster, I sure as hell am an attractive one. I give myself a wink in the mirror hanging in our room and Connie laughs at me.

 

After we’re both packed, we trek towards Reiner’s dorm. I think his roommate is this petite boy named Armin. I think he’s studying chemical engineering from what I remember of him. Connie is listing off who will be there. I recognize a few of the names.

 

Reiner, I know him pretty well.

Bertholdt, he’s Reiner’s tall nervous boyfriend right?

Annie, I don’t think I know her?

Armin is supposedly joining us as well.

Connie mentioned something about Bertholdt’s roommate possibly joining us but I didn’t catch a name.

 

We head into the dormitory building Reiner lives in and catch an elevator to his floor with a blonde girl that Connie knows. This must be Annie. She looks like she absorbs the anger of those around her, she seriously does not look impressed with anything. Though if what I’m hearing is correct, she was sent by Sasha and Reiner to the store to buy more snacks while they ordered pizza, I don’t think I would be a happy camper if I was her either.

 

I would say we spent the rest of the elevator ride in silence but we really, really didn't. Connie apparently knew her pretty well. Something about her being the third person in Reiner and Bertholdt's regular trio. She was a lot shorter than Reiner or Bertholdt, even only a few inches taller than Connie.  

 

When we had reached Reiner's floor, the three of us stepped off the elevator and walked down the hall towards his dorm. Annie didn't even knock, she just let herself in and left the door open for Connie and I. Inside, Reiner and Bertholdt were setting up a laptop to play the movie on, Sasha was wrapped in a blanket on the floor pestering Armin who was laying on his bed, and Bertholdt's supposed roommate was nowhere in sight.

 

Connie and I dropped our bags near Sasha as Reiner placed the laptop on a low table between the beds, a convenient place for everyone. Connie and Sasha sat together on the floor, and Reiner and Bertholdt cuddled together under a blanket on Reiner's blanket. I opted for sitting next to Armin, and Annie sat next to Reiner and his sweaty giant. Everyone seemed counted for until the door opened, and everyone including myself looked to see who it was.

 

Lo and behold, it was mister tall dark and handsome.

 

The tall freckled beauty smiled and waved at Bertholdt before setting his bag down and standing awkwardly. That was until Armin stood up and grabbed his sweater, announcing he was staying at Mikasa and Eren's apartment for the night.

After Armin left, Freckles sat beside me on Armin's bed, holding out his hand to me.

 

"Nice to see you again, I'm Marco."

I took his hand and shook it.

"Jean."

After a few times of trying to pronounce it, he got it right and he sounded fucking dreamy.

I didn't get to ask him if he had seen my phone after we bumped into each other because he dug into his sweater pocket and produced the device.

"Thought you would like this back?" He grinned at me as he placed the phone in my hands.

 

How lucky would I have to be to find out he put his number in my phone?

Calm down, Jean, he's probably straight.

Like, seriously, chill your gayness for a second because you're flaming.

 

Well, I was disappointed when I checked my contacts. Marco had not put his number in my phone but hey, I got to watch a movie while sitting scarily close to his face. Up close, you could see his fainter freckles and the one on his ear, also the ones that went down his neck. I swear he had them everywhere.

 

When the movie started, we found out we were watching some shitty horror movie that I didn't catch the name of. As things in the movie started getting intense, Sasha stood up to get the snacks, handing out bags of chips and offering bottles of pop to everyone. Marco and I ended up sharing a bag of pretzels, and at some point during the beginning of movie, we had started sharing space. His head was resting on my shoulder and our legs were overlapping, and my head was leaning against his. I swear if we weren't watching a movie everyone in the room would have noticed.

 

A jump scare we obviously had not expected made Marco cling closer to me and I swear my sweater was going to smell like cinnamon because of him. I wouldn't mind it though.

When the movie ended, Marco looked up to tell me something. Just then, Sasha had 'accidentally' pushed him into my face by bumping into him while standing.

Let's just say I didn't see the push.

At all.

Because when Marco's lips met mine by accident, I kissed back....


	2. Well shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot more emotion than the last chapter, honestly.

It was short, sweet, and chaste.

My hand had rested on the back of his neck and I swear I would have melted into that boy. He kissed me way too well to be a straight boy. It felt like this was some sort of release, maybe he needed this sort of affection as much as I did.

My tongue almost had decided to swipe across his bottom lip, asking for more, but I pulled away. Marco's dark eyes were blown wide and I could hardly find where the deep brown of his iris was. Stupidly enough, I decided to look past the freckled beauty that had been pushed on me to the rest of the room.

 

Connie, Sasha, Reiner, and Bertholdt were staring at us, jaws slack and silent. Annie seemed unfazed by us and found her phone and bag of cheese puffs much more interesting. My cheeks flushed red and I was blushing to my ears, Marco probably was too if I had the guts to look him in the eyes. From what I saw, even his neck was red from the blood rushing to his face. The room was silent besides the noise of the main menu of the movie replaying every thirty seconds which had started becoming irritating and Annie was the first to break and turn off the damn thing.

 

The first to speak was Connie, trying to make the air in the room less awkward.

"So, uh, I think we have our sleeping arrangements? Marco with Jean, me and Sasha, and then the trio."

Everyone made noise of agreement besides Marco and I let out a small groan, laying down and pulling him down with me. I rested my head against the pillow on Armin's bed and Marco rested his head on my chest as I played mindlessly at his hair. It was so dark, soft, and incredibly thick. I was starting think what other parts of him had such dark thick hair... Bad Jean.

 

Marco fell asleep pretty quickly and I'm trying so hard not to let my heart speed up because I swear if it did, it might wake the poor angel. I carded my fingers through his locks as our legs were more tangled together and his arm was draped across my middle. This felt so natural yet I had only met this boy this evening. Maybe this was some sort of release. I think tonight there is a god.

* * *

 

I wake up with Marco on top of me still, his face buried in my neck. It's 8 am and no one else is awake. For the first time in a while I didn't have the nightmare. As far as I can remember I didn't dream, it felt like closing my eyes and waking up refreshed.

At this early hour of the morning on a day where none of us have class unless they are afternoon ones, there's peace. Sasha and Connie are spread eagle on the floor next to each other, and the trio has more or less doggy piled unto one another during the night. I look at Marco who pulls himself closer and buries his face deeper into my neck. This all seems so, domestic. Like this is where I should be, for once I've done something right in my life. It's like fate gave me an approving nod like 'hey, bro, you did this one on your own, good job'.

 

In her sleep, Annie shifts and wakes up Bertholdt, who in his half asleep state looks a lot less nervous than usual. He actually looks calm. The tall boy rests his head on top of Annie's back as she laid on top of Reiner. My stare catches his eye and he smiles at me before making a gesture to Marco before pointing to the sleeping pile beneath him. I assume he's asking if Marco is sleeping, I nod after taking another glance at the boy beside me.

 

The calm doesn't last long after Connie wakes up. The bald lemur seemingly didn't have a half asleep state, just sleeping and hyperactive. When he woke up, he instantly crawled over to the bed I was laying on and rested his head on the edge, wiggling his eyebrows at me. Unbelievable. Did he think I would seriously pull that sort of shit in a room full of people? Okay, I probably would but only like a hand job under a table or like a blow job, I have some self respect.

 

Reiner woke up after Connie, only to pull Bertholdt back to his spot beside him in the bed; Annie throwing her arm around the giant after he laid back down. Perhaps this indeed to be a routine for them. The three of them together, having that emotional connection and that physical attachment to one another. Honestly, I would have thought they were a group in a polyamorous relationship if I didn't know Reiner and Bertholdt were in a monogamous relationship.

 

Connie curled up to Sasha, sticking his cold feet against her warm ones, receiving a light slap from the mostly asleep brunette. I couldn't help stifling a laugh at the two. Though I do regret it as it woke up Marco. His long eyelashes fluttered open and I could feel them against my neck.

"G'morning, Marco."

My gold eyes looked at him as he moved to see who he was in bed with, it seemed like he didn't recall the sleeping situation. It took him half a second to physically push himself out of the bed and onto the floor in panic. He had almost landed on Connie, the almost part is sort of disappointing really. When he realized had in fact fallen asleep next to me, he stood up and apologized to Connie and myself.

 

Marco's mini freak out woke up Sasha and Annie, and startled everyone else. Of course, Marco apologized to everyone. This boy was too sweet to be real. I watched as he mused his hair, pushing the messy locks out of his eyes, the part naturally falling in the middle. His dark eyes flickered towards me and my heart stopped for second. Come on, Jean, you can't just die from the guy looking at you.

 

After the awkwardness that was everyone waking up, we wandered out of the dorm slowly for either returning to our dorm room or simply heading to the communal shower. Armin hadn't returned meaning I had gotten comfy on his bed again, sinking into my hoodie and fixing my beanie, not wanting to reveal the disaster that what had been a faux hawk which had become messy and flat during the night. Honestly, I probably looked pretty disgusting.

I let myself close my eyes for a few minutes... When I opened my eyes, Annie and Bertholdt had left, and so had Connie. Sasha was sitting on the floor playing cards with Marco while Reiner was reading some magazine on his bed. Sasha's brown eyes looked over at me and she stood up, "Alright, Jeanie boy, we gotta go." I groaned and sat up, how long had I been asleep? Twenty minutes? An hour? Despite that, I pulled myself off the bed and trudged towards the door, patting myself down looking for my phone. Somehow Sasha knew what I was looking for and tossed me my phone. Bless her soul.

 

After Sasha had gotten her stuff packed and we had our shoes on, we waved a good bye to the remaining pair and left. Half way down the hall I noticed Sasha was grinning like she was up to no good. I raise an eyebrow at her and glance down at my phone. What did she do? I don't find out until we reach the elevator because I receive a text from Marco.

I didn't have Marco's number before I fell asleep.

 

**From: Miss new booty**

**hey its marco just texting to make sure i put your number in my phone right!!:)**

**To: Miss new booty**

**yea this is jean**

 

 

You know what I said about blessing Sasha? Fuck her. Literally fuck her right to hell, this isn't happening. I felt like my insides were on fire, how could she do this to me? This means I have a chance to see him again but I actually have to talk to him for that. How do you talk to someone you accidentally kissed and fell asleep with the first time, well technically second time, you met?

 

I looked over at Sasha and she was still grinning. I should be happy I got his number but I think I was offended that she went behind my back and went into my phone to get it for me. Maybe one day I will thank her. Maybe. Hopefully sooner than later.

* * *

 

Surprisingly, I spent the afternoon texting Marco about Star Wars and our classes, and we may have set up a lunch date. I was supposed to meet him outside the Maria building when he finished his Introduction to Acting class or something. I think he mentioned at some point he was a theatre major here at Mitras University. He also mentioned he was from Shiganshina, which surprised me, he did strike me as a small town boy.

 

Though, my night was nearly sleepless. I couldn't lay still and I felt like my skin was trying to crawl off my body. My hands shook, my sheets were thrown off my body and I felt, so alone. How could I feel so alone when my best friend was literally asleep across the room from me? Maybe it's not physical loneliness I have, it's the emotion, the mental loneliness knocking on my door. Not so much knocking, as kicking in the door and violently punching me while I had been taking a peaceful nap. There's so much going on in my head but at the same time I feel like I'm drowning in the nothingness of it.

 

I felt nothing but everything.

 

I tugged my blankets back around me and force a pair of headphones into my ears and listen to music, forcing myself to get some shut eye. After I calmed, I somehow drifted asleep....

* * *

 

After the night that seemed like an blurry but anxious dream, I was sitting outside the Maria building typing away at my phone. Sasha had jokingly asked what I was wearing, and I actually sent her a description. I'm quite proud of my fashion sense if I do say so myself. Getting dressed is no trivial task especially when someone has a date. I also look good in red and black, oops?

 

**To: Thing 2**

**red beanie, tshirt, red skinnies ;) also my docs and backpack arent i sexy??**

**From: Thing 2**

**OH YEA ARENT U ON THE HUNT FOR SOME MARCO BOOTY TODAY ??? GOOD LUCK JEAN!!!**

 

She wasn't wrong. I didn't choose a particularly tight black tee shirt and my tightest red skinnies for nothing, you know? In Sasha's words, I am 'on the hunt for some Marco booty'. Also, said Marco was taking quite a while to leave his Introduction to Acting class. I guess I signed myself up for this, didn't I? Whatever, I can just sit here on the steps of the building, tapping my boots against the ground and pestering Sasha.

 

After the longest ten minutes of my life, I heard his laughing come from the doors behind me, causing me to jump to my feet to wait. When I looked over my shoulder, he's with a short black haired girl with huge black irises and huge eyes in general. I waved awkwardly and run a hand through the front of my hair before pulling my hat down a bit to cover the tips of my ears. Marco waved back and said good bye to the short black haired girl, skipping down the steps to meet me.

"Hey, Jean, so it looks like we're on for lunch?"

"I haven't been sitting out here waiting for you if we weren't." I rubbed the back of my neck and tried to look anywhere but his adorable smile.

 

We walked towards a small off campus pizzeria, one of the best I've had since I arrived in Mitras actually. It's a small place run by an old man who loved to see me there with my friends, I couldn't say I saw many people in there, I'd be happy too to see my regular customers bringing more business. The tiny old man was great to talk to though, he had a lot of stories to share about fighting in the war before becoming a pizza chef.

 

Hopefully this date doesn't go to shit.


	3. Lunch Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean and Marco's first date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit shorter than the others due to lack of inspiration, my apologies.

Sometimes life gives you lemons. 

 

And _sometimes_ life gives you a My Chemical Romance song. 

 

The gleam in Marco's eye when we stepped into the pizzeria, the radio playing one of the newest songs by MCR, was not one I wanted to forget. 

 

"So, Marco, the same beauty that is Bertholdt Hoover's roommate, likes My Chemical Romance?" I grinned at him and fished my wallet from my back pocket, walking up to the counter with my plus one in tow. He looked slightly embarrassed and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't cute.  His hand coming up to rub the back of his neck while the other fiddled with the strap of his school bag. In an attempt to ease his nerves a bit, I nudged him softly with my elbow.

 

I leaned against the counter, exchanging pleasantries with the little old pizza shop owner. I ordered my slice of pep and cheese, and  turned to Marco, who stared up at the menu for a few minutes intently before ordering a slice of cheese pizza. Before he can even reach in his pocket to take out his wallet, I had already paid and was leading him to a table near the window to sit. As we waited for our slices, we started casual conversation. 

 

The only way I can describe the way Marco smiles is fucking angelic. We dabbled in topics like what growing up was like for us, I felt bad that my family had been significantly more well off than his, his life in Shiganshina had been considerably less lush than mine in Trost. He told me about his twelve year old sister, Marie, and her shenanigans in the Bodt home. She sounded like a wonderful little sister, like the ones in books, they're up to no good but at the end of the day, you love them no matter what. He told me about his mother and his father, and about how amazing his mother's cooking was. His home sounds so _warm_. The kind of place you want to go back to on holiday, and be greeted with the smell of home cooking rather than the smell of disinfectant and maybe, just maybe, the smell of whatever flower was dying on our dining room table. 

 

Our pizza is brought over to us and I tell him about my own home. I tell him about Trost, and about my mother, the lovely woman that she is and was. About her being my pillar of support and always being there for me, and never missing any of my high school football games even if she was supposed to have an appointment. I tell him about my younger brother and how I have only seen him once in five years. The look on his face as his smile suddenly faltered at the mention of not seeing my brother and my parents getting divorced was heart breaking. His dark eyes studying me like he was trying to see if I was okay, trying to see through the fact I was hardly keeping things together. Truthfully, I was hardly keeping myself from crumbling. Talking about this sort of stuff can still be hard after five years, right? 

 

Before I could even notice, our slices were gone and we're leaning in across the table, our faces only a few inches apart as we talk. My hand was between his as he traces his fingers along my palm, tracing stars and other patterns along my pale skin. It's soothing. 

"What high school did you go to?"   
"Trost High."  
"There's only one high school in Shiganshina so I don't really have to tell you which I went to." 

We laughed together, I rested my chin in my free palm, propping my arm up against the table. 

"Jean?"   
"Hm?"   
"Can we uh, try that again? What happened last night? Just without Sasha?" 

Is he asking if he can kiss me? Fuck yes. You can kiss me, Marco. You can kiss me everywhere for as long as you want. I want to taste your lips against mine for a very long time. 

I nodded. 

 

He leaned forward slowly and the suspense of those few inches killed me. The hand under my chin reached forward to cup his cheek, our heads tilting so we wouldn't bump noses. I watched as his eyes slowly fell shut and mine followed suit. 

3.. 

2..

1..

Touchdown. 

 

Our lips moved slowly against one another, like trying to find a comfortable rhythm for each of us. It wasn't long until we found it, our rhythm. My other hand came up to rest on his other cheek. If this fucking table wasn't in my way, I'd probably be all over him. I _want_ to be all over him. Before I can kick the table out of the way and literally pounce on Marco 'living-embodiment-of-dreamy' Bodt, he breaks the kiss. His face is close to mine still as he opened his eyes, mine opened shortly after. Kissing him was better than any touchdown I scored during football back in high school, it was better than anything I've experienced honestly. 

He's addictive. 

 

I wanted to kiss him again but didn't want to overstep boundaries. I settle on planning on kissing him good bye. 

* * *

 

 

The walk back to the dorms was less than eventful. We held hands, and complained about classes. Apparently many of his teachers were all about expressing yourself but you had to express yourself a certain way which made it stressful for him. I could relate, being an art major. I had to impress but I didn't know who I was trying to impress with my art, I just wanted to get noticed and have my big break. Getting noticed in college and getting rich would be nice. 

 

Just outside of campus, a house had left a giant pile of leaves on the edge of their yard, and lets just say Marco and I are both giant five year olds. It didn't take us more than three seconds to jump into the pile of leaves, me on top of him. We must have been a sight to see, two college kids rolling around in a huge pile of leaves, throwing handfuls at each other and yelling. I only stopped yelling and throwing leaves once I realized several other students had joined in throwing leaves at one another while Marco and I laid in the center of it all, out of breath and smiling at the sky. We had been the start of the Great Mitras Leaf War of 2006. 

 

I looked over at him and grinned, and sure enough, he grinned back at me. 

* * *

 

When we finally arrived at his dorm room, we were flushed in the face, and it was not from an intense make out session, unfortunately. We had raced up the stairs instead of taking the stairs which was stupid of me because I was really out of shape. No joke. Marco's not only taller than me but he apparently works out a lot and does his own stunts during performances. Even then, after running up four flights of stairs after running to the dorm building tired him out. 

 

We were now standing outside his room, panting like dogs. It didn't take long for Bertholdt to open the door to see what the weird panting noise outside his door was, when he found me and Marco doubled over on the floor gasping for breath. The giant of a man sighed before turning back into the room to continue his studies, closing the door behind him. 

"So, uh, we should go on another date some time?" I stood up and stretched my limbs out, finally starting to even out my breath.   
"Yeah, how about we see a movie this weekend?" Marco shrugged and I noticed he spoke with his hands, watching them move in the air as he continued, "I heard there's some decent films out right now?"   
"Sounds good, text me later okay?"   
He nods and before he can open the door to his apartment, I spin him around, planting one on him. 

It was just a quick peck but holy shit was it cliche. It was right out of a romance novel. 

 

After realizing fully what I had just done, I looked how I was holding him. One of my hands was splayed on his back, holding him to me while the other cradled his cheek, his hands resting against my chest to steady himself. Smiling up at him, I let my hands fall slowly, stepping back and disappearing through the door that leads to the stairs, making my way down the four flights once again. 

 

**To: Thing 2**

**date went well !!**


End file.
